I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
