life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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