I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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