She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
