Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
