At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish i was in the wii world.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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