i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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