The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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