I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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