ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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