i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just had sex on a roof
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