Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
