Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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