omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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