my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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