i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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