Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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