yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
