I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
