She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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