Yo dont text me then not text me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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