If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize