playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
