It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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