i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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