All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
do herpes really smell.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
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i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
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I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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