Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
