She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
