i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
