How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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