yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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