Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
