Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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