Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
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