My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
