Sponge bath it is.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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