Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
