Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
