the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
