Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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