Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
