I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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