Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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