how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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