They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
