I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
