you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
