ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
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I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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