My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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