I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize