wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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