WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
