Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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