Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
