i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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