if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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