Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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