So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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