Can i not drive my cunt home
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Randomize
