so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize