Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
