Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
