i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
