So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
