I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
